


Loving You Had Consequences

by TheXJames



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F, Heartbreak, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, It's going to hurt, Please Don't Hate Me, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-08-17 00:51:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16506032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheXJames/pseuds/TheXJames
Summary: “You don’t want to do this. I know you don’t.” Chloe begged, clutching Beca’s hand as if it were her lifeline.“I don’t want to Chloe. I have to.” Beca said quietly, withdrawing her hand gently.“You don’t have to. We can figure this out.” Chloe tried again.“I don’t think we can.”“But I need you.” Chloe’s head was spinning. This couldn’t be happening.“You don’t need me.” Beca replied.“Of course I do Beca. I love you.”Beca sighed. “And I love you Chloe. I probably always will.”“Then why can’t we fix this?” Chloe asked. As she watched Beca’s face she realized she didn’t want to know the answer. She got it anyway.“Loving you hurts too much.”





	Loving You Had Consequences

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm still struggling (debating my options?) with writing the next piece for "It Matter's How This Ends" so here's a short little shot of super angst in the meantime. 
> 
> It's really rough guys. I had a sad song stuck in my head all night and this is the result. 
> 
> I'm sorry. 
> 
> xx Continue at your own risk...

Chloe slid a knife under the flap of the manilla envelope, already knowing what was inside. She’d been staring at said envelope for three days now, willing herself to face the inevitable. She tried to prepare herself as she tugged the papers from the envelope, not reading them quite yet. She set them face down on her kitchen table and stood up to fix a drink, something stronger than the tea she was sipping currently. 

 

‘Whiskey or Gin?’ Chloe thought to herself as she pulled a tumbler out of her cabinet. Settling on whiskey, over ice, she pulled a chair out for herself and accepted that she couldn’t put it off any longer. After taking a long drink of the amber liquid, Chloe flipped the papers over and read over the first page. 

 

_ This agreement serves as a full and final settlement of all matters arising from the dissolution of their marriage, including division of all property rights, debts, and spousal support. The parties agree this Agreement contains a fair, just and equitable division of property and subject to court approval agree as follows: _

 

She scanned the rest of the page acutely aware of the tears pooling in her eyes. She never thought it would really come to this. Certain phrases stood out to her as she read. 

 

_ Irreconcilable differences.  _

 

_ Beyond reconciliation. _

 

It was her fault, something else Chloe was acutely aware of as she flipped page after page. A small part of her realized that Beca was being more than fair about everything. She read the passage on separating property. 

 

_ All parties agree to equally divide mutual property, with party A (Mitchell) maintaining possession and ownership of all sole property. Party A (Mitchell) agrees to waive any rights or ownership to joint bank accounts, mutual funds, and the shared vehicle. Party B (Beale) will be entitled to 10% of all income and earnings received by Party A (Mitchell) on or after the date of execution of this Agreement, as so agreed by Party A (Mitchell).  _

 

Her eyes continued down the page until she landed on the thing she wasn’t ready to see. 

 

Beca Mitchell. 

 

There it was; signed and dated. Beca had made her decision - she was beyond reconciliation with Chloe. 

 

Chloe thought back to their wedding day, to the promises they made to each other. It seemed so far away now; a memory fading away slowly. 

She thought of the words that had been running through her mind since Beca said she couldn’t do this anymore. 

 

_ These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever. _

 

They had promised each other forever. 

 

_ These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together you build your future. _

 

They had promised to always support each other. 

 

_ These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other. _

 

They had broken all of their promises. 

 

Chloe had broken all of her promises. 

 

She wasn’t there for Beca. She didn’t cherish her, or support her when Beca needed her most. Chloe had failed her wife - soon to be ex-wife - and Beca had still stayed. She had stayed when Chloe came home past midnight, citing studying and the library as a valid excuse. She had stayed when Chloe would snap at her because the dishes hadn’t been done yet, or because laundry was stacking up, even though Chloe hadn’t done a dish or piece of laundry in a week. She had stayed as Chloe missed dinner dates, more concerned impressing her new boss at the clinic. 

 

Chloe had failed. Beca had stayed. 

 

Her final straw seemed so inconsequential to Chloe originally. Beca had booked them a trip to Hawaii during a time Chloe had already put in for vacation days. She had surprised Chloe with the trip plans, and Chloe’s reaction was far from ideal. It wasn’t that she hadn’t appreciated the thought Beca put into their trip, she really had. She didn’t tell Beca that though. Instead she snapped at Beca because she’d been planning on going to visit Aubrey during her vacation time. 

 

Looking back, Chloe should have seen the light dull in her wife’s eyes. She should have seen the way her shoulders slumped in disappointment before she sighed and told Chloe to go see Aubrey, she’d cancel the trip. Looking back, Chloe should have slapped herself for not wanting to spend time with Beca. 

 

Instead she went to see Aubrey. 

 

Beca went to Hawaii anyway. 

 

Chloe came back to an apartment that was distinctly lacking anything of Beca’s. Confusion gave way to recognition; quickly overtaken by anger, regret, and the worst emotion, fear. 

 

She wandered up the stairs to their bedroom, where she saw a piece of paper folded up on her nightstand. It was a note from Beca. 

 

_ Call me when you get home. We need to talk about things. _

 

“The beginning of the end.” Chloe said aloud to an empty house. 

 

She finished her tumbler of whiskey and stood to refill it, leaving the papers, page still on Beca’s signature, at the table. 

 

Two hours, and three strong drinks later, Chloe stared at the rather blurred signature at the bottom of the page. She knew Beca hadn’t made this decision lightly. She knew her hand had been forced, and that they’d already had every conversation and argument possible. Chloe had begged, pleaded, made more promises she wouldn’t keep. She had tried to fight for their marriage, for her best friend. Their last conversation replayed in her head. 

 

_ “You don’t want to do this. I know you don’t.” Chloe begged, clutching Beca’s hand as if it were her lifeline.  _

 

_ “I don’t want to Chloe. I have to.” Beca said quietly, withdrawing her hand gently.  _

 

_ “You don’t have to. We can figure this out.” Chloe tried again.  _

 

_ “I don’t think we can.”  _

 

_ “But I need you.” Chloe’s head was spinning. This couldn’t be happening.  _

 

_ “You don’t need me.” Beca replied.  _

 

_ “Of course I do Beca. I love you.”  _

 

_ Beca sighed. “And I love you Chloe. I probably always will.”  _

 

_ “Then why can’t we fix this?” Chloe asked. As she watched Beca’s face she realized she didn’t want to know the answer. She got it anyway.  _

 

_ “Loving you hurts too much.”  _

 

_ Chloe couldn’t respond, her heart was shattering and she couldn’t find a way to form words. All she could do was watch Beca walk out the front door.  _

 

Beca deserved better. She deserved someone whom she could love without it breaking her. Chloe knew she had not been that person, she understood that. Somehow, somewhere throughout the years they were together, Chloe had forgotten how in love she was with Beca. 

 

She couldn’t fault Beca. God knows her wife had tried to salvage their marriage. Chloe had just been too wrapped up in everything else to see the warning signs. By the time she saw them, it was too late. Beca didn’t have anything left to fight for. 

Chloe had taken the best thing in her life and ruined it. She’d watched her best friend’s heart break and had done nothing to mend it; had made it worse over time. 

 

She’d caused irreconcilable differences. 

 

She made a poor decision in that moment, sure to blame it on the alcohol later. She pulled up Beca’s contact information in her cell phone and hit call. It was selfish, and pointless, if Chloe was being honest with herself, but she had to try one more time. 

 

“Hello?” Beca answered, hesitation obvious in her voice. 

 

“I can’t do this.” Chloe said. 

 

She was met with silence, before Beca sighed into the phone. “You got the papers then?” 

 

“I don’t want to live without you.” Chloe’s words were slightly indistinct, from the alcohol or emotion she couldn’t be sure. 

 

“Chlo…” Beca whispered. “We’ve been through this.” 

 

“Please.” The word as broken as Chloe felt. 

 

“Chloe, listen to me, okay?” Beca began. “Loving you was young, and wild, and free. It was sunshine, it was safe.” Chloe felt her tears falling as she listened to the woman she loved. “But it didn’t stay that way. It cost me...I lost too much. I lost myself, and you weren’t there to find me.” Beca paused, and Chloe could hear the emotion in her voice. “Loving you still takes shots at me.” 

 

“Becs…” Chloe sobbed. 

 

“Sign the papers Chloe. If you really loved me, let me go.” 

 

Beca ended the call and Chloe succumbed to her tears. She wept out the emotions, the pain and sadness, the heartbreak, the regret. She wept for herself, for her heart. She wept for her wife, for the pain she’d caused. She wept for her best friend, for her lover. She wept for everything they were losing, for everything they would never have. 

 

She wept until there were no more tears; until her body gave out and she allowed sleep to overtake her. 

  
  


**************************************************************************************************

 

Chloe awoke with a start. It was dark in the bedroom and she was shivering, having broken out into a cold sweat during the night. She could feel tears staining her cheeks and her shaking was as much to do with emotion as being cold. Her still sleep fogged brain was having a hard time determining where she was; she had fallen asleep at the table she thought. She felt movement beside her, and turning could faintly make out the profile of her wife in the dim glow of the streetlight that shone through the window. 

 

Confusion crashed through her mind for the briefest of moments before the realization hit her. She was dreaming. It was a dream. All of it was a horrible, terrible dream. She looked down at Beca, fresh tears spilling over. Slowly, carefully, she brought her hand down to trace the lines of Beca’s face. Beca stirred upon feeling the movement, her eyes blinking quickly as she woke up. 

 

“Chlo? Why are you awake? What time is it?” Beca asked with a sleep filled voice. 

“Shh, go back to sleep. I’m sorry I woke you up.” Chloe whispered. 

 

“Are you crying? Chloe what’s wrong?” Beca sat up now, looking over at Chloe with concern. 

 

“I just had a terrible dream.” 

 

“C’mere.” Beca said as she pulled her wife to her. “Wanna talk about it?” She asked as she laid them back down, rubbing small circles on Chloe’s back. 

 

“I just really love you, and I never want you to be unhappy with me.” Chloe mumbled as she snuggled closer into Beca. 

 

“Why would I...you make me happy baby. I love you.” Beca kissed the top of Chloe’s head. “Whatever you were dreaming about, it was just a dream.” 

 

“I’ve never been happier to wake up.” Chloe whispered into Beca’s shoulder. 

 

She slid her arm over Beca’s stomach and clenched the shirt Beca was wearing. Chloe could still feel the pain of her far too realistic dream. She was still scared. Beca must have noticed, as she slid her free hand over Chloe’s, intertwining their fingers. 

 

“I don’t want to let you go.” Chloe said as she looked up at her wife. 

 

Beca placed a light kiss on her lips before she settled back against the pillow, a small smile on her face. “Well you’ll have to in about -” she glanced at the clock “-four hours, cause I have work. But until then, hold on as tight as you’d like.” 

 

And Chloe did. She held onto Beca as if her life depended on it. She held onto her because her life depended on it. 

  
  
  
  



End file.
